Today I climbed a mountain and looked fear in the face.

I have been on very intimate terms with fear for a long time now. Starting with an anxiety disorder diagnosis in high school, moving through my mother’s cancer diagnosis and eventual death, to now.

This is a different sort of fear than I’ve had to face before. This is a fear of pursuing my dreams. Fear of failure. A fear of getting what I want, and what I might lose if I do get it.

Starting at an early age I was taught that I can’t have it all. That there would be sacrifices, sometimes big ones. That choosing one dream often meant letting go of another. It’s strange to find myself standing in a place in life that I recognize as a juncture. A place where I can choose a direction, and that direction is going to shape everything that comes after it.

I’ve had my head full of dreams and ideas since I was a child, and now that the path to some of my biggest dreams is laid out at my feet, I’m terrified of going forward.

I recently read the book The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho. In it, the shepherd boy, Santiago, sets out on a journey in pursuit of his dream, what the book calls his Personal Legend. Along the way, he learns that everyone has a Personal Legend, but not everyone pursues it. Some give up when faced with too many challenges along the way, and others never attempt to follow their dream at all.

I will not be one of those people.

This is my declaration of intent. I am terrified and I am not going to stop. I’m not going to look back at all the might-have-beens. I’m not going to doubt myself. I’m going to keep taking one step forward, then one more, until I’m standing at the top of the mountain with my hands brushing clouds and my eyes on the horizon.

In consideration of the challenges I am facing, here are my twelve steps to help manage fear and cultivate perseverance.

#1 Climb a literal mountain.

Okay, so not everyone is lucky enough to have actual mountains in their backyard. But whenever I become too bogged down in fear and doubt, I’ve found that getting up and moving helps. It doesn’t have to be a hike. It could be going to your local gym or turning on music and dancing like nobody’s watching or just going for a run. Whatever will make you break a sweat, raise your heart rate, and get all that fear and tension to move along and help clear your head.

#2 Write it out.

Venting on paper is one of my go-to ways of dealing with stress. Granted, I am a writer. But there is something very empowering and affirmative about putting your thoughts into words. Start with a rant about fear, doubt, or whatever is currently preying on your psyche, then move on to how you’re going to overcome it. Once you’re done writing about it, go do it.

#3 Call up a friend and go grab a drink.

I’ve been working from home for the last six weeks. While I am an introvert, I start to get a little crazy after a while if the only person I have to talk to is my cat. When wrestling with fear, being alone in a quiet house turns my head into an echo chamber, repeating back to me all the reasons why I’m going to fail. The best cure for this that I’ve found is calling a friend and going to my favorite coffee shop or bar. People, noise, good drinks, and good conversation are a fantastic cure for many ailments. And best of all is having a sympathetic ear to tell your worries to and someone who can give back good, logical advice and emotional support. Don’t have a friend available within driving distance? Make yourself a cup of tea or open a bottle of whatever you have on hand and settle in for a good, long phone conversation.

#4 Turn up the music.

If talking with a friend isn’t an option, my next favorite survival tactic is to turn on music and crank the volume up. It’s a lot harder to be afraid when I’m singing along to my favorite rock song at full volume. On days when everything feels like a struggle, I’ll pick my current favorite playlist and leave it on repeat for most of the day. Just loud enough that it’s not quite background noise but quiet enough to not be disruptive to whatever I’m doing.

#5 Take it on the road.

If just playing music isn’t working and there’s not a friend to be found, the next thing I’ll do is plug the iPod into my car radio and take a drive. I’ll find that whimsical-looking county road I’ve only ever driven past and see if I can find some new piece of the world if I drive down it. Sometimes all I need to do to get out of my head is to get out of my house.

#6 Keep moving forward.

Even a small step is still a step forward. Even if all I accomplish in a day is editing a poem or tweaking the design of my website, as long as I’m still making some sort of progress, I’m going to call it a success.

#7 Build on each small success.

This is sort of like working out. If you start small and consistently make a habit of those small things, you can build those small things into bigger things. At first, I struggled to know what to do with myself working almost entirely from home. I had no set schedule, no one I was accountable to except myself. I wasted a fair number of hours cleaning my house, researching on the internet, reading how-to books, and basically just circling my actual work because it seemed too big a task to handle. Slowly, I’ve been building something loosely resembling a routine. I work out most days. Sometimes I remember to make myself a cup of tea. Then I write. I work on my blog and social media. Sometimes I’ll take a break and do the dishes or practice my Spanish. Then I write some more.

#8 When you stumble, get back up.

There are times when, despite my best intentions, I accomplish absolutely nothing. Zilch. Nada. Sometimes I fall into a funk, convinced all my writing is crap, and I write nothing for days. Sometimes I derail myself, but sometimes life does it for me. I have to change my plans at the last minute and suddenly a day that was supposed to be spent writing is spent doing no such thing. The important thing is to keep trying, to get back on track as soon as possible. And to forgive yourself when you don’t quite make it. Because we all stumble sometimes.

#9 Dealing with distraction.

The thing about the modern age is that there are distractions everywhere. I turn on my computer and there are literally a hundred distractions right at my fingertips. Learning to say no is important, and not just to the friend who calls you up at the last possible second (again!) to invite you to go to that restaurant you don’t even like. It’s also important to learn to say no to yourself. Did Netflix just post a new season of your favorite, most binge-worthy show? Save it for your designated downtime. Did that video game you’ve been wanting forever just go on sale on Steam? Download it and play it later, as a reward for accomplishing your goals for the day. On the other hand, when your significant other walks into the room half-naked and says “wanna fuck me?” by all means, say yes. There are some distractions that just can’t wait.

#10 Expect your plans to change.

Sometimes life is going to throw something at you that you can’t dodge and suddenly you’re going to be looking around wondering what happened to your carefully established routine. I don’t have much advice for this except the classic “expect the unexpected.” When you keep a flexible attitude it makes it easier to improvise. When I got asked to watch my friend’s kids at the last minute I brought my laptop and wrote after they had gone to bed. However, it doesn’t always work to multitask, so just be sure to pick back up as soon as your time is your own again.

#11 Hold yourself accountable.

It has taken me a long time to cultivate the kind of self-respect that makes me want to be accountable to myself. Whenever I felt I was accountable to someone else, and I didn’t follow through, the guilt and blame I piled on myself only made it harder to stay accountable. I felt that, since I failed that time before, of course, I would fail this time, too. I finally realized that when it comes to accomplishing my dreams and doing the things I say I’m going to do, the most important person to be accountable to is myself. I know if I fail I will be disappointed in myself. I’ve fallen into that pattern many times before, and somewhere along the line, I decided that I want to be proud of the things I do. I don’t want to look back and regret what I did or didn’t do. So, first and foremost, I am accountable to myself for my own happiness and success.

#12 Be kind.

It’s way too easy to criticize myself for all the things I didn’t do right, for all the mistakes I have made. At the end of the day, that voice in my head is either going to be the harshest critic in my life or the staunchest supporter. What started out as a decision to be kind to myself has transformed into this really incredible thing called believing in myself. I still have days when that voice starts to turn critical again, but I’ve become much more aware of it. And through awareness, I’ve learned how to change the tone of that voice to something kinder and more gentle toward myself.

There you have my thoughts on how to persevere in the face of fear. What things would you add to the list? Tell me in the comments!